By Dinesh K. Nagpal

Part 1 of 2

“Lord Jesus, failure and disappointment sometimes lead me to despair. I hide behind my pride and self-pity, withdrawing from you and others. Give me the hope I need and help me never to be afraid to begin again.”  Anonymous

“Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” Henry Ward Beecher

“Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.” ~ Edmund Gwenn

“Disappointments to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal, it strengthens tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”  Eliza Tabor

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”  Robert Kiyosaki

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~ Beverly Sills

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointments put your head down and plow ahead.~ Les Brown

“Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.” ~ Evan Esar

“The more we shelter children from every disappointment, the more devastating future disappointments will be.” ~ Fred G Gosman

 

Incidences of getting disappointed are common in everyone’s life at one point or the other. It is, therefore, important to know what disappointment is and what are the reasons of this negative and detrimental habit?

It is one of the important habits of human being to expect from others. He expects almost everything available under the Sun. To name a few are money, material, service, favor, love, affection, care, co-operation, blessings, happiness, success etc. This list may go on increasing as you meet number of people. But at times, when expectations are not met with from worldly persons and most of the time people are unable to possess worldly things for one or the other reason, they get disappointed.

In this world, almost every other person is running behind material things and wanted to grab more. A sort of rat race is going on with feeling of competition. Expectations are continuously increasing every day. This trend is increasing for last one century when more and more gadgets and luxurious items have started pouring in for the consumers and has gained momentum in twenty first century. Increasing gap between the rich and the poor has also given rise to the disappointment all over the world.

There are two types of expectations among people,

  1. Justified and genuine expectations to lead a purposeful life for the welfare of all.
  2. Unjustified and high expectations to lead a luxurious life for selfish purpose, beyond means of a person.

With increase of expectations in people, disappointment is also increasing. It is also true, disappointment never comes alone and it never comes without a reason. You get disappointed either with the presence of a person, for possession of a material or due to unfavorable circumstances. Sometimes it also comes from the self. In other words, a person, a material or a situation is cause of disappointment. Here are some suggestions to get rid of disappointment.

1. Know the reason:

Try to know the reason. Have you made an effort to know the reason of your disappointment? Is it only with you or is also with other persons around you? It is the time to ensure, whether your expectations are normal or high, beyond reasonable limits. Try to know the reasons behind your disappointment and prepare yourself to get rid of the same.

2. Explore your positive qualities:

According to neurologists, at the time of disappointment, a sense of futility and worthlessness is generated in the mind, which leads to prevalence of uncertainty. And the person is unable to decide what to do? He remains in the state of uncertainty and cannot do anything and gets inactive. Thus disappointment leads to sluggishness, lethargy, inactivity and uncertainty.

It is advisable to forgive yourself and avoid self pity. Explore your positive qualities and use them for your development.

3. Rededicate yourself:

Unsuccessfulness in any work, failure of a plan, sudden departure of a loved one, either by deceiving or by death; un-fulfillment of a desire are some of the important reasons of disappointment. It clearly indicates we have an appointment with our expectations and desires. Dis- means ‘separation’ and appointment means ‘meeting someone’. Hence inability or failure to meet expectations and desires leads a person to disappointment.

You can overcome it by lowering your expectations and rededicating yourself to fulfill your plans and dreams by resetting your goals, making them more realistic. Someone has rightly said, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

4. Be flexible:

Nature has given human beings a natural ability to think and decide their actions. They have freewill to do whatever they wanted to do. If you wish that others should be perfect when dealing with you, it is a wish which may not come true. No person on this earth is perfect. Mistakes are bound to happen. Grief, pain, sufferings, anxiety and failures are integral part of life. Everyone has to experience them at one point or the other. Life will always remain uncertain.

Be flexible while dealing with others. Don’t allow yourself to be angry. Cultivate patience in every situation. Do not create bitterness every now and then. Forgive others for their big or small faults. Learn to accept challenges of life with open arms. You can ensure to reduce the incidences of mistakes in all that you do. This way you can save you from occurrence of disappointment on several occasions.

5. Be positive:

Every incidence of disappointment brings hidden messages to you that either your efforts were inadequate and there is room for improvement in your efforts or you have followed a wrong path. It also indicates there is a possibility of some other good things for you in store. Instead of getting depressed, it is better to learn a lesson from this situation and analyze it properly.

Reinvent yourself and think what best remedial measure can be taken to avoid reoccurrence of disappointment? While reinventing yourself try to explore various possibilities, viz. do you have any sort of negativity in you, either in your behavior, in your attitude or in your relationship with others. Don’t blame others for your problems of life. Don’t criticize your near and dear ones. Make efforts to change you from negative to positive in all that you do. Maintain your balance of mind even if circumstances are odd. Do not get irritated or angry. Keep your ego and your importance at bay.

You need to ask a question to you, why are you unable to make good relationship with others? Is it your negative behavior, your arrogance, your negative attitude, your disgustful nature or bitterness in your conversation which is responsible? Do you have a habit of finding faults in others? If it is so, you must change your behavior from negative to positive with immediate effect. You will have to create vacuum at physical, mental and emotional level. Creation of vacuum means driving out negativity from every level of your mind. Please also ensure not to hold responsible the self for your troubles.

Keep reading and give your comments.

God bless you, now and always.

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Dr. Dinesh K. Nagpal has been studying and practicing The Art and Science of Positivism for over 35 years. His zest for gathering ancient knowledge based on Vedas, Upanishads and other Hindu scriptures, which are full of living life in totality, for the benefit of mankind, brought him laurels. The motto of his life is ‘Caring and Sharing is the essence of life.’

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